Following the past two emails on empathy, I would like to share more thoughts from some books I read. I do not mean to bring you sadness or negative energy. Rather, we need to understand how we can face sadness in order to know how to embrace happiness, to turn negative energy into positive one.
I have a habit of reading different types of books, even those that I think are not necessarily correct, because I want to read them to see how people can view the same issue in a different way, perhaps wrong, or to find them actually right and I am wrong. Another way to learn! The topic today is from a book about “23 Exercises to Say Goodbye” by a Japanese author. I of course read the translated version. I am sorry that I cannot cite the book here because I have difficulty typing some of the Chinese words. Please approach me for the information of the book if you are interested.
A young girl who has very serious illness had been hospitalized with all sorts of vital machines in bed for several months. She was conscious throughout, although weak. She always wore a lovely smile with the little energy she had when greeting nurses and whoever visited her. One day, the doctor told her that she could get off the bed, and leave the room briefly for a little break. She was so excited for this excursion, even if that just meant going on wheelchair to the little gift shop at other end of the hospital. She went on the following day and stayed there for 15 minutes, appreciating the warm colors of all the items, one by one. On the way back, she passed by the cafeteria, very excitedly embracing the smell of coffee and soup, and the color of the cakes, imagining their really lovely tastes. She went back to her room filled with joy! She was so happy that she was still alive.
What reflection does this story give you? Never take what you can, own, or have for granted! Love your family and friends. Be good to people!
Following my email last week, it looks like we should always show empathy. Or should we? (I have sort of covered this topic a couple years ago. You can verify by checking our HC website for the Friday email collection.)
Very often, we are told to help those physically or mentally challenged people. So, when you see a person on a wheelchair, you will want to help. When? How? You might help by opening the door for him/her if he/she finds it difficult because he/she has to also control the wheelchair. But if he/she can maneuver it very well, he/she might actually want you to treat him/her in the same way as your other friends who are absolutely mobile.
If you have a chance to watch CBeebies, a kid’s channel of BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation), you might sometimes see a science program hosted by a smart girl. There is nothing special, except she does not have an arm. Or, in another program, the host doing experiments talks in not very clear sentences because she has hearing problems. A purpose of having these hosts is to educate kids, starting when they are small, that having (or not having) something and different from others does not mean one is inferior, or incapable of learning and doing what others can. If you try to help them even before thinking whether they need help is actually discriminating them, thinking they are incapable. A recently popular topic, diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI) is exactly to include everyone from diverse origin (including race), and treat everyone equally. This is especially important in this now very diverse world, particularly politically.
So, next time when you want to help people, please first consider if you are actually discriminating them or helping them. You are all smart. So, use your judgement call.
Hope the typhoon has not affected you much! Do you still remember when you were much younger, 8 years ago, Typhoon Hato caused a lot of damages in Macao, and, more sadly, 10 people’s lives? We always emphasize that we should have empathy. When people are sad, we should feel for them, try to care for them and soothe them. But how? Here’s a recent sharing (in Chinese) from James Law, our HC alumnus, on his Facebook. Let me try to summarize it in here.
A person, let me name him/her Abi, has a good friend. Let me name him/her Karen. One day, Karen told Abi, “Every time when I vent, you always say “this is life” (or “C’est la vie” in French). As a result, I do not want to carry on our conversation anymore, because you simply are not empathetic!” Abi was very surprised because she thought she was trying to comfort Karen. But to Karen, Abi was simply telling her that she was not special (and everyone has his/her hard time). Abi did not expect that she has actually created a distance between them.
Next time when you want to show your empathy, perhaps you can try the followings:
- “It does feel painful from what you told me. Are you alright?” – to make someone know that he/she is not alone (i.e. you are there to help)
- “I will also break down if it were me. Would you like to share more?” – to let the person vent out all the stress
- “Would you like me to help you find a solution?” – to show respect and choice
Remember, your “This is life” will only make people think you want to show superiority and therefore lack of respect. Also remember, when people vent, they might not want a solution from you; they simply want a listener.
See if you have opportunities to practice the lines above, and be empathetic!
Did you find the movies last Friday? Hope you enjoyed! If you don’t, see if this one attracts you more.
The game: “Translate” the meaning of the following everyday phrases (again, ask a friend or two to join you):
- It’s on me
- Beats me
- Catch up (Hey, not Ketchup!)
- Break a leg (Why not a hand or arm?)
- Go Dutch (Why not other nationalities? What is special about Dutch?)
- Dead tired
- Okay by me
- Not in my books
- Once in a blue moon
- Not my cup of tea (Why not coffee?)
- Give me a break
- Take it easy
- Make up your mind
- Hit me up
By the way, the words in the parentheses above are my words for fun, not to be “translated”.
Please feel free to share your “translations” with me by replying to this mail.
Please also let me know if you like these games, or prefer more informative topics? You can also tell me what kind of topics you like to read.
Hope you have had a good learning week! Did you manage to change your not so good sleeping habits, if any, and have nice sleeps over the week?
Guess you have not got many assignments yet! So, let’s play a game. If you have a lot of assignments, I would strongly encourage you to take a short break and relax with this game.
Do you see movies in cinemas? How about Ne Zha? Or any Marvel movies?
Recently, Statista, the provider of all sorts of statistics, including some strange ones, reported that, there is a box office crisis in the United States, i.e. movies don’t sell anymore, even though a lot has been paid for the actors and actresses. As a result, movies were made based on books, video games, or box office hits in the past.
So, here’s the game: Name at least one movie that belong to each of the following categories (ask your friends for help if needed, making the game more fun):
- Original screenplay
- Based on fiction book/short story
- Based on comic/graphic novel
- Based on real life events
- Others
- Based on nonfiction book/article
- Based on TV
- Spin-off
- Based on folk tale/legend/fairytale
- Based on (video) game
The above list is in the descending order of the market share of movies in the U.S. from 1995 to 2005. You can find the Statista article here: https://www.statista.com/chart/35074/box-office-market-share-of-movies-based-on-different-source-material/.
Hope you enjoy digging out the different movies, and then find time to watch them. Please also feel free to share your choices with me by replying to this mail.
After three weeks of classes, are you not sleeping enough already? If so, … oh no!
I recently saw this on someone’s post, but cannot share the source with you. Anyway, thought it would help to remind you of how you can affect your health and capability, and that the fact that you are young does not mean you can indulge in lack of sleep! Here are the points:
- A night’s poor sleep is as bad as being drunk; your brain performance is significantly reduced
- Only deep sleep can cleanse your brain of toxins
- Lack of sleep can lead to weight gain (please remember this if you worry about your look! But if you are skinny, sorry, this can’t help either!)
- Sleep is linked to memory, learning, and emotional control
- Do not think adults can go with only 6 hours of sleep continuously
- People who continuous lack sleep will always feel anxious and depressed
- Continuous sleep loss increases risk of heart diseases, stroke and other chronic illness
- Power naps of 20-30 minutes can boost focus and mood.
Do NOT think you can make up your lack of sleep during weekdays by sleeping more hours over the weekends. Think of your smartphones. If you keep them consistently at very low battery levels, charging them over the weekends will only make them at most 100% full, not 120%, not 200%. But because they are constantly at minimal energy, their batteries deteriorate faster!
I hope you can sleep and rest well over this weekend. But please also try to change your habit to sleep more, and at the right time, during weekdays!
How was your first couple of weeks back to school?
For newcomers, FYI, I have covered quite a lot about sustainability. Natural disasters have been one of the main topics over this summer: people dead in Europe (Italy in particular) because of extreme heat, Portugal and Spain hit by wildfires, England and Japan experiencing the hottest summer. The list goes on and on. People keep saying there is little they can do to change the big world; and that’s the job of the scientists. But if the 20% of us living in the modern countries can each do something in our life style and habits NOW, the 100% of the world population will suffer less, at least not more, in the future. We have both the power, and the obligation, to contribute!
In a latest report by the United Nations (UN) on its Sustainable Development Goals (SDG) (see https://unstats.un.org/sdgs/report/2025/The-Sustainable-Development-Goals-Report-2025.pdf), only 13 of the 17 goals have little to 1/3 “target met” progress. In almost all of the goals, “stagnation” or even “regression”, are the major “progress”. That means NO PROGRESS! That is so sad!!! “Hunger” is UN’s number 2 target. You have always had enough food, often more than enough! Can you imagine undernourishment is still a big issue around the world? The situation was improved by 2014. Unfortunately, geopolitical conflicts have exacerbated the situation again. Just look at Israel’s daily shelling Gaza, which has been declared to be in famine (a term that is almost forgotten in this new century!)!
Please take a moment everyday to feel the world, not just your own lives, your own surrounding. Be responsible global citizens!
Have a good weekend! Start feeling the world today!
Welcome back to UM! An extra warm WELCOME to the new HCers joining us through the Open Application as well as recommended by your RCs and the Dean of Students. Also welcome to read my first Friday email of this semester.
I recently came across someone’s post (anonymous, and so I do not have a citation for it) about “How we are Taught to measure success” versus “A Better measure of success”. I shall provide my comment at the end of the mail, but here are the points.
“How we are Taught to measure success”
- Job title
- Salary
“A Better measure of success” (with one-eighth of each)
- Good relationships
- Lifelong learning
- Making a difference
- Liking what you do
- Financial health
- Career
- Free time
- Good health & wellbeing
Do you agree? As you can see, at HC, we emphasize on providing an environment for you to develop good personal traits, such as empathy and ethics, rather than merely academic performances, as important attributes for leadership in the future. Likewise, it takes time for a person to develop the above measures. For example, how often can we make a difference? How often can we have free time? While we need to have the opportunities, we should not wait for them to come. We can always create opportunities by building solid foundations. And by the way, do NOT misinterpret! “Financial health” does not mean you have plenty of money. It simply means you have a healthy financial structure, such as enough to spend on necessities, and perhaps being able to spare some for charity, rather than having a lot of money to buy luxurious brand items. Also, being able to have a balanced lifestyle to allow time for exercise, social gathering, sleeping, and still enough time to work and study is not as easy as it looks. I am sure you know very well.
I do not necessarily agree with every point above. Still, I think it might help you have a good start of your semester, and building up healthier lives for your future. Ultimately, what we at HC hope for is for you to become better and more useful persons for the world.
Talk to you next week.